Take away everything.

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You can take this photographs and watch them fade away. You can through away all this letters, i don’t care about what they say.
You can take away everything, leave me lying on the floor. But all those sorrys can’t fix me.

Begini Saja.

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Aku tak berlari supaya kau mengejarku. Sungguh. Kutahu itu melelahkan.

Aku pergi, karena keberadaanku tak membawa kebaikan apapun dalam hidupmu.

Dan aku menyadari setelah kau benar-benar telah berpaling. Ternyata, pertengkaran kita, masalah yang datang bertubi-tubi, rasa lelah untuk tetap bertahan dengan keyakinan yang makin menipis, tak sebanding dengan rasa sakit yang kini mengeram di dadaku.

Tapi aku tak ingin kita kembali menoleh ke belakang. Untuk kembali mengingat masa lalu yang semestinya kita tinggalkan.

Aku ingin kau hidup dengan baik. Inginnya kebahagiaan itu berasal dariku. Namun kusadari justru akulah penyebab utama ketidakbahagiaanmu.

Mungkin jarak telah mengambil keyakinan yang tersisa dariku atas dirimu. Aku menyesali semua sikapku padamu. Yang membuatmu sedih dan terluka. Yang selama ini tak kusadari.

Kuharap permintaan maaf cukup untuk merubah kenyataan. Tapi aku tak akan sesombong itu. Aku yakin, jika memang ini akhirnya maka inilah yang terbaik bagi kita berdua. Terutama karena aku tak mampu berjanji untuk tidak pernah melukaimu lagi.

di malam kelabu

Hatinya yang sakit menjerit ingin menangis

Namun bahkan hujan tak mau turun

Malam itu, langit cerah penuh bintang

Tetapi hatinya justru di rundung kelabu yang tak mau pergi

Dengan sekuat tenaga ia berusaha menelan pahitnya perasaan itu

Yang menusuk jantungnya hingga berdarah

Ternyata…

Menjadi wanita ke dua tidaklah menyenangkan

Setidaknya ia tahu itu sekarang

But again…

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It’s like once you’ve been hurt, you’re so scared to get attached again.

Like you have this fear that every person you start to like is going to break your heart.

But…

I trust him. I gave him my heart. Every little pieces was ever been broken.

And believe, no matter how, he could fix it.

I do believe.

But again,

Sometimes you just need to trust your mind. At least, they would never leave you broken.

Another lies

I Love You…

I Love You…

I Love You…

My heart constantly hurts everytime I said that.

Not because I’m too afraid to hear the wrong answer from you.

But, I’m scared to hear another lies.

Broken again…

How come I become such a fool person?

I’ve tried to told my self harder everytime you make me smile just by one word. That I’m not supposed to love you. I’m not supposed to care. I’m not supposed to always wonder where you are or what you do. I supposed protect myself to not fall for you. I shouldn’t have a feeling for you, no matter what. ‘Cause you won’t be there to catch me.

Every people I know was hurting me, so I know you will do the same thing someday.

I think my heart were broken. Again. It’s funny because I thought I didn’t have it anymore. Since some people had broke it into a pieces, I thought my heart are too broken to have someone else in it. Now I know I’m wrong again. Because with every little pieces that I didn’t even notice, I’m falling in love with you.

Because…

Frustrated because I can’t tell if it’s real or not.

Mad because I don’t know how you feel.

Upset because we can’t make it right.

Sad because I need you day and night.

Angry because you won’t take my hand.

Aggravated because you don’t understand.

Dissapointed because we can’t be together.

But still, I love you…